Can you imagine that I'm still annoyed? That I've encountered more things that are really irritating me today? Let me first say for the third day this week we have no hot water. After each day when the hot water is restored we're told that whatever the problem is has been fixed. Apparently that's a lie. Today was the first day they actually sent us an email acknowledging that we had no hot water. So I guess after 3 days they've learned to at least try to keep us informed.
We had our carseat inspected by a certified carseat technician about two weeks ago, supposedly it was in and fine. Today they were running a carseat inspection at the hospital we are delivering at and I decided to stop by just for the heck of it. Two checks is better than one right? Well we hadn't moved or changed the seat since the last inspection. The sheriff reached in and yanked the seat from one side of the car to the other. Uh, ok. I guess the first inspection wasn't actually even worth our time. They asked who had installed it and when I said my husband under the watch of a carseat tech, they laughed. Of course my DH was working today so he wasn't there with me to get schooled on the proper carseat installation procedures. Now I'm left to wonder who the heck can I trust to ensure the carseat really is correctly installed. Annoyed.
It's incredible to me the way that people feel the need to question my wishes and decisions. DH has come home three times this week and told me co-workers have told him how epidurals are the greatest thing in the world. Knowing DH works with mostly men I asked if that was a male opinion or female, of course it was male. Although I know most husbands truly don't want to see their wives in pain and I guess that when they lay there numb from the waist down it's more comfortable for everyone involved, but it's just not for me. My DH is not someone who discusses things very openly with people and I know he's not walking around his office telling everyone I am planning on a natural childbirth. I know DH also knows that I CAN do this drug-free and fully supports that decision. So I had to question how in the world that conversation even comes up. Apparently men just truly believe epidurals are the only way to labor. On top of this annoying pushing from people I don't even know to have an epidural, a family member of mine espoused their belief that epidurals are a good thing this week too. I really have nothing against epidurals. I have nothing against people choosing to have an epidural. I haven't been in the position yet to even tell you how it feels to push a child out without one, so I can't even tell you for sure I won't be having one-I just hope not to. My problem is if you ask me if I plan to have an epidural and my answer is no, you should not respond with:
a) birth is the most painful thing I ever did, don't do it without an epidural
b) epidurals are the greatest thing on earth, why wouldn't you want one?
c) you don't have to prove anything to anyone, just get an epidural
If you can't think of something supportive to say, or you just think I'm nuts, then don't say anything at all. I'm not looking for your approval. I'm not seeking your support. The two people that I need to support me, my husband and my doula, both do. Infertility, and more so having two angel babies, robbed me of something most people take for granted. Most people believe their body is on their side. They feel like it is always going to do what it was designed to do. In my case, it didn't. I couldn't get pregnant. It wouldn't do the one natural thing that a woman was made to do. I could not create life. So medical science intervened. Then my body betrayed me again, twice. Once the life was created, my body did not support it. That was a huge thing for me to deal with. This pregnancy has done a lot to restore my faith in my body. The way LD has grown inside me and my body has supported that growth has been an incredible experience for me to process. In my mind the final step in helping me believe in my body is allowing it to labor the way it was designed to. No drugs. I don't expect a medal for giving birth drug-free, I'm not looking for a trophy, or an award. I simply want to do it for myself. Why anyone else feels the need to question that is beyond me. It is annoying to me though.
Finally to end on a more positive note, no UTI and Strep B free so no antibiotics now or during labor. And in LD Watch 2010(this may be TMI): lost a little bit of mucous plug last night. :)
