Birth Plan, Schmirth Plan...

First let me start off this post by expressing that the NUMBER ONE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME IS THAT LD ARRIVES SAFELY AND HEALTHY. Today was my 34 week appointment. I specifically scheduled this appointment ahead of time with the OB I've worked most with and feel closest to. She's been amazing during my entire pregnancy, you know I'm neurotic so it's required lots and lots of patience. I knew presenting a birth plan to your OB can cause eye rolls and annoyance on their part, but assumed she'd be willing to discuss it with me openly as we've had a great rapport during the pregnancy. I went into the visit so assured with my choices, I've been doing tons of research and know that all the things I want are safe and within the realm of a healthy delivery. I got the cursory eye roll when I mentioned I'd be using a doula after questioning the 41w3d mandatory induction. I can deal with the induction, it's not ideal to me but if it must be, it must be. I handed her my birth plan and one by one she shot all my hopes out the window. She did agree to no epidural or pain meds if that's what I want, however she took away almost all the possible non-medical strategies to deal with the pain. Sure I can move and walk, but I need to keep in mind I will not only have an IV(something I said I didn't want), but I will have continuous fetal monitoring(which will give me about 3 feet at most to move around). I requested intermittent fetal monitoring, according to my OB, "No hospital allows for intermittent fetal monitoring." This is basically not true but what's the point of arguing? I can drink, but no food. If I need an emergency c-section I may aspirate food into my lungs if I eat. Uh, there's been more research that contradicts that than supports it. But according to her I don't need to eat, that's what the IV is for. Of course I will feel the urge to eat, but ignore your natural urges. Labor is not natural apparently so just fight everything your body is telling you do to. Have some ice chips if you really feel the need to eat. As for the episiotomy, which has also been more than proven to be unnecessary, she can't guarantee I won't have a doctor that is old school and still does them. She doesn't, but since we won't know who is on delivery duty that day she doesn't want to get my hopes up that I could actually have something on my birth plan that I am asking for. As I sat there listening to what she was telling me I started to wonder where in the hell I am living? I thought I was in the United States. Yet here is my doctor telling me that despite me saying I don't want someone to cut me from one sensitive place to another, unnecessarily, it could happen because some old school doctors still do it. Uh, seriously? This is my damn body and unless LD is in distress and it needs to be done to protect him I don't want someone needlessly hacking me open. One of the doula's we interviewed was telling us about her experience with laboring women in Guatemala. Apparently they must labor alone, without family, often having things done to them without understanding or being told what's happening. They will be told they are not going in for c-sections, only to be in the process of being wheeled in for a c-section at that very moment. Everything my doctor said to me echoed in the back of my head as being very similar to the stories the doula had told us. At this point I feel I have no control over what happens to me, and that's a scary thing to feel. I wrote the birth plan with the full knowledge that birth is very fluid and things and circumstances change. I always want LD's well being and health to be the number one concern during delivery and if any of the interventions are needed because he is in distress I am more than 100% on board with them. All I was asking was to allow my body to do what it's made to do, naturally, in a hospital setting where I could feel more safe. Knowing these interventions are waiting for me when I arrive at the hospital sure doesn't make me feel safe. Guess I should have gone with my first thought about not writing a birth plan. I absolutely shouldn't have researched the other side of the interventions. I should have gone into childbirth clueless and blissfully planned for the "usual" cascade of interventions. Damn me for trying to understand what was going to happen with my body, and wanting to work with it instead of against it.