Infertility has given me...

So my posts thus far have pretty much painted infertility in a negative light. Every situation has two sides though. It's only fair that I examine both sides. It took me a while to realize that infertility wasn't always robbing me of things, it's given and taught me things as well. It's harder to admit that but it's helped me to cope with things a little better. Those of you who know me know that I was an only child pretty used to getting my way, used to getting things in my time. I finally encountered a situation for which no matter how many fits I throw there is no one obligated to give me what I seek. Before infertility I didn't have nor did I understand patience. I believed the world owed me everything and they owed it to me in my time. When I wanted something I wanted it yesterday and was used to getting it immediately. So patience was a difficult lesson that I've learned over the last three years. Without infertility I would probably still be the same spoiled impatient brat I always was. Infertility has taught me how to deal with failure. Before this challenge that I have been given I wasn't used to failing. I always got good grades, accomplished all the goals I set forth, and graduated from college in four years at the top of my class. I'd gotten every job I'd ever interviewed for and I'd never dealt with failing at anything. Then infertility came along. Month after month I failed to get pregnant. When I finally got pregnant I failed to stay pregnant. Then I failed again and again at getting pregnant. Only to fail at staying pregnant the second time I got pregnant. These failures were a new experience and over time I've learned how to deal with them. Infertility has given me a stronger bond than I ever imagined existed with my DH. Going through something like this can tear you apart or it can bring you together in a way that only adversity can bond you. Infertility has given us a common enemy to battle. It has allowed us to confide our deepest fears, share our greatest joys, and hold one another through our darkest hours. There is no one else on this Earth that I could imagine going through this with. I have a deeper appreciation for my DH that was born from this experience. Infertility has provided me with an incredible awe for the miracle that is life. Life does not just happen. It is a fight from the moment the sperm joins the egg. Every second thereafter is a precious second. At any time something can go wrong and that life can be ended. We battle every second for survival and life is the most incredible and precious miracle on the planet!! I have learned to be grateful for the gift of life that I have and never for a moment take it for granted. I have learned to take each moment as it comes and although I spend time feeling cheated for the things I have not been blessed with yet, I realize that I have been blessed with many others for now. I have also learned from infertility that everyone has a story. Some stories are filled with despair and disappointment, some stories are filled with fear and pain, some stories are filled with happiness and success. Everyone has a story. You can't tell what someone is living from their outside appearance. From the outside most people appear happy, it's expected, but inside they may have just lost someone they love, be battling an incurable disease, or be facing the hardest decision of their life. I've learned to take the time to listen. Everyone's story is worth hearing. Though it may be uncomfortable or sad, it deserves to be heard. I have also learned a lot about myself. I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I also considered myself to be weak. When the doctors told me what I'd have to do for treatment I thought there was no way I could do that. But when you have little choice but to be strong, you somehow find the strength. Strength is a powerful thing. It can overcome doubt, fear, and despair. A little strength can go a long way.