The first post...welcome to my journey

So this is my first foray into the world of blogging. Not sure it will be the most enjoyable thing you've ever read, but if you're wondering what we're going through, or where we plan to go next in our journey to parenthood, this is the place to check. Oh and it will most certainly have some personal stuff in it. Don't be offended. At this point nothing in our lives is private anymore!! I've let infertility slowly creep into every facet of my life and it's time to compartmentalize it to a certain section. So here is it's section. The journey now has a place to reside. The journey to parenthood has been far from traditional in our case. Two years ago we were finally ready to add a new member to our family. Things didn't happen as we planned. Right from the beginning we sought outside help. After 3 cycles of trying with my OB we weren't any closer to solving the problem. Oh I suppose I should mention the problem: I don't ovulate. Every month my little ovaries produce eggs, but they are pretty selfish and don't release them. For 3 months I took an oral pill called Clomid. It has some pretty gnarly side effects. Still my little ovaries kept those eggs prisoner. So my OB decided it was time to call in the big guns. We got a referral to the #1 fertility clinic in the nation, Shady Grove. We met with the Reproductive Endocrinologist(RE from here on out) and she wanted us to continue Clomid but do ultrasounds to make sure the eggs were developing and then we'd give me a shot of hormones to make my ovaries release the eggs. We did it and lo and behold we got pregnant the first time!! It was an incredible feeling!! We thought we'd gotten off so easy. We didn't want to do IVF and here we were pregnant the first cycle with a specialist. From the beginning of the pregnancy things weren't right. The baby grew, but slowly. We held onto hope. But in the end we lost the baby. It was devastating. We had just suffered the loss of Brent's(DH from here on out) mom. We picked up the pieces and healed as best we could and moved on. The tests run on the baby showed a chromosomally normal little girl. Everyone told us it was just one of those horrible things that happen. So we agreed with the RE when she suggested keeping up the same treatment plan. We did that 2 more times each time with the same result, no pregnancy. So we switched from Clomid to injectable hormones. I was giving myself a shot every night in the stomach. Two cycles of that ended up negative. These things all only had a 20% chance of success. So we moved on to IVF. My RE told us we had over a 67% chance of success. Seemed like a good time to switch. So we did. Instead of one shot a day I had to do a shot in the morning and two in the evening. We ended up with one beautiful embryo. For those who don't know, IVF consists of pumping you up with hormones so your ovaries produce a bunch of mature follicles(eggs) and then you have surgery where they aspirate the follicles from your ovaries. Once the follicles are aspirated they are fertilized. They grow in a lab for 3-5 days(a time when they'd normally be traveling through your fallopian tubes to your uterus) and then they are transferred back to your uterus(around the time they'd normally implant). When they aspirate the follicles from your ovaries sometimes the empty space where the follicles were fill up with fluid. My ovaries actually swelled to the size of grapefruits and my abdomen filled with fluid. I looked 5 months pregnant, when in reality I was 4 weeks(although I didn't know it at the time). Because I felt so bad I went back to the RE. They did the test a week early and found out I was pregnant!! The baby developed right on time and everything looked perfect. At 7 weeks 4 days my RE released me back to my OB. We had graduated!! The baby looked amazing!! A week later at 8 weeks 4 days we had our first OB appointment. Things didn't look so great. The baby was outgrowing it's gestational sac. We scheduled an appointment for 3 days later and returned at exactly 9 weeks. The baby had grown, the sac had grown, but there was no heartbeat. We had lost a second baby. Today I found out that the chromosome analysis on this baby was normal female just like the last one. So we have two baby girls in Heaven. And now we have to decide what our next step is. Which leads me to this blog.