The last month has been a whirlwind. I still look at him and don't fully grasp the concept that he's my baby. That he's really here, and he's really mine. I keep waiting for someone to show up and say thanks for babysitting I'll take my kid back now. I'm not saying I don't feel fiercely protective of him, or motherly towards him, or don't love him so damn much more than I ever imagined I could love anything, because I do feel all of those things. It's just after three years of heartache and feeling like I would never be a mother, now that I am it's hard to wrap my head around. I think another part that makes it weird is everyone visiting holds him and feeds him and it seems like I barely see him sometimes. When I see other people holding him I sometimes think damn that's a cute baby, and then it clicks in my head...hell yeah that's a cute baby, he's MY baby!!
The last three weeks have been filled with company. We've had someone visiting every day. After this weekend we'll get a little time to ourselves. I'm looking forward to that time and hoping it means I'll get a little more sleep. I feel guilty going to take a nap while we have company so when they're gone and it's just me and the Dude while DH's at work, we're going to be nap buddies. That's my plan anyway, he may have a different plan.
Little Dude has grown a ton and had a few different personalities over the last month. We've encountered challenges and overcome them and each and every minute is truly rewarding. Even the minutes where he's screaming into your ear so loudly you're sure you're going to be deaf. People will tell you having a baby changes your life, but in my case I feel like I just started living. Before I was merely existing, now I am truly living.
Then:
Now:
I love the contrasting pictures!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt sure sounds like you have some cool experiences when you notice that cute baby in someone else's hands! How sweet that is!
Happy 1 month!! I'd say today is your "4 week" even though it isnt the 17th! I'm going to celebrate tomorrow :). I hope you enjoy your mommy / baby nap time when your hubby is at work! For some reason it just never works out for me but the day flies by and hubby is home before I know it. Off topic: I took your suggestion and bought an Ergo carrier online with gift cards I had from my shower (so it was free for me); it came in 2 days and I CANT WAIT TO TRY IT! It's been too hot lately to put him in the little infant insert / taco thing so we are waiting for the weather to break. THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTION!
ReplyDeletesuch a sweet little man!
ReplyDeleteomg, those pix are adorable. kitties are so funny, they'll find a spot on your lap, no matter what.
ReplyDeleteThe way you describe the surreal feeling of this baby being yours is so perfect. I know I'm going to feel the same way.
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ReplyDeleteheeheehee I LOVE the pic of the baby and kitty on your lap! At least Mr. Kitty is happy sharing! :)
ReplyDeleteI think I'll feel the same as you, like it's just a test and not really my kid. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the whole pregnancy thing, much less actually having a baby around!
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