Back In the Saddle Again

Wow it's been a while. My last post I was so hopeful about my meeting with my RE(specialist) and so hoping we'd get some answers as to what the heck went wrong last time. Of course there were no answers. Chromosomes were normal, blood clotting results were normal, everything looks good. Yet the baby's heart stopped at 9 weeks, just like that. No more heartbeat. It's maddening. You think of a womb as a safe haven for a baby, yet mine seems to slowly rob my babies of their lives. All the RE could say was we have a 70% chance of carrying our next baby to term. So the odds are in our favor, yet I am still full of fear. We've added Metformin to our protocol to help the PCOS, our RE said the data about it preventing miscarriage isn't too strong, but it's harmless so why not add it in. She agreed to put me on Lovenox to thin my blood to prevent blood clots. The OB wanted me to start it about 6-7 weeks pregnant, but the RE said if we're going to use it we might as well start after egg retrieval and throughout the pregnancy. She said it's basically harmless, unless I fall and hit my head or get in a car accident, it's like she secretly knew I'm sort of a klutz. DH says he's getting me a helmet so I can't fall and hit my head, glad he's concerned about my welfare. She told us we had sort of a higher than average number of eggs fail to fertilize after the last retrieval. She offered us ICSI, which is an acronym for a really long medical term you probably don't need to know. Basically they take one swimmer and inject it directly into the egg to ensure the egg gets fertilized properly. Apparently some of DH's swimmers were over eager and more than 1 tried to fertilize each egg. Her last recommendation really blew us out of the water. She thinks we should consider transferring more than one embryo. This is in stark contrast to our last cycle where she was insisting we only transfer one. During our last cycle I read about the possible complications of twins and all the terrible things that could go wrong and convinced myself one baby at a time was the best way for us. Now she's telling us we should consider transferring two embryos. Our chance of success last IVF cycle was 67% with a single embryo transferred, she said if we were to transfer two we had a 50% chance on top of the 67% chance of success that we'd have twins last IVF. Now she's advocating we transfer two. I know there's a bunch of you out there reading this who are thinking, twins AWESOME!! How cute are twins? Yeah I know twins are adorable, but so many things can go wrong with twins. Anyone who has ever seen me knows I'm 5'6'' and weigh about 115 pounds. I question where one baby is going to have room to grow, so two seems beyond impossible. It's a decision that will weigh heavily on us during the next few weeks. Our RE was also eager to begin our next cycle ASAP. We assumed we would have to wait until October to begin, but she was ready to start when we saw her. Unfortunately I was diagnosed borderline hypothyroid so I have to begin medication and check in a few weeks to make sure my thyroid hormone levels have decreased. So we have delayed starting our next IVF cycle until October, looks like an embryo transfer around Halloween. The first step of the IVF cycle is to take birth control pills for 3 weeks. Counter-intuitive to be on birth control while you are trying to get pregnant, but birth control basically shuts down your bodies hormonal messages to your reproductive organs. I'll be posting more often now and even more when the shots and IVF cycle actually begin. I'm cautiously optimistic this is our time to become parents.