Breaking the Silence...

I have literally started this post 8 times in the last 3 weeks. I have wanted so badly to get back to Blogworld and sort some things out, or at least get them off my chest, but life has been flying by at breakneck speed. We moved this month and between putting our house on the market in August, showing it, finding our new house, selling our old house, buying our new house, packing, moving, and now unpacking I've been too tired to write at the end of the day. I haven't been too tired to think though and its been keeping me up lately.

LD is doing great!! He went from toddling to running in the blink of an eye. I can barely keep up with him. Even on days he doesn't nap he's like the Energizer bunny. He keeps going, and going, and going... He's not much for intelligible words yet. He doesn't say Mama and Dada directed towards us. He says them in his rambling but it doesn't exactly seem as though he's talking to us. He does however call the cats cat and know who he's talking to. And dogs are afforded similar respect. He called the deer who strolled through our new backyard a dog too, but since until now he's been a city kid I cut him some slack. He love, love, loves being around other kids. I suppose hanging out with your mom 24/7 even as a toddler isn't exactly the most desirable position. Poor guy. His uncle came to help us move and marvelled at how extroverted he is. He couldn't believe someone so extroverted could come from two complete introverts like his parents. I truly hope he stays as extroverted as he is. LDs latest discovery is a banshee shriek. Its toe curling. And ear splitting. I try so hard not to give in and give him his way when he busts out the banshee but sometimes I break down. I may need Supernanny and he's only 15 months. *sigh* We have our next doctors appointment Thursday and I'm not looking forward to it. We were supposed to bring him in for a weight check at 14 months but all the moving stuff didn't leave much time, we did weigh him at home to make sure he was gaining weight though. He was still only drinking breastmilk until about a month ago but now he's doing a 50/50 mix with cows milk. I can't believe I still have a frozen stash but I do. We have 2 shots to do and Daddy can't take anymore time off after the move so I will be going it alone.

I've been thinking a lot lately about #2. I got some not so great news from my endocrinologist that I do indeed have PCOS. I suspected I did, but having it confirmed hit me sort of hard. I haven't had a visit from Aunt Flo since finishing the BCPs for my IVF cycle for LD and I'm 4 months post nursing so I knew it wasn't looking good for my diagnosis. He wants me to start BCP if I haven't had a cycle in 2 months. *sigh* He also told me that my hormonal imbalance will make it impossible for me to carry a pregnancy. That comment pierced my heart. DH says we have already proved that wrong since LD is here, but I'm not so sure. What if things are worse now than they were before? I planned to do everything exactly the same as the cycle that resulted in LD. The Metformin, the estrace, the progesterone, the Lovenox, the extra folic acid, the synthroid, the extra b vitamins, the baby aspirin, the heparin...it makes my head spin. I started Metformin last night. We aren't getting back in the saddle yet. I leave DH home with LD for an afternoon and return to a lecture about how if I want a #2 its best not to leave him alone with a strong willed toddler. *sigh* I'm hoping he gets on board sooner, rather than later. My crappy eggs are just getting crappier and I really want LD to have a sibling. Or at least to be able to tell him someday that I did all I could and gave it my all if he asks why he's an only. But I do want to say I'm an only and am so damn glad for that, so not all onlies are bereft about being so. Anyway that's what has been going on in my little corner of the world. I promise to post more often, and I really, really promise to make them much more interesting. And next post I promise to include Halloween costume pictures. I'm on my tablet and can't get them to post right now.